My Irken Home
by AnEchoOfTime
Summary: A human child has been raised on Irk. Her 'family' goes to Earth to escape the empire. There, she is captured by humans and taught how to be human. But the more she learns of what it is to be human, the more she longs for Irk. Next chapter up, finally
1. Gone

Prologue:  
  
We are in a ship. It is cold, and very crowded. My Irken-mother is holding me. I like it when she holds me; it makes me feel better. We are going very fast through space. I look out the window. There are so many stars. So many more stars than I could see on Irk.  
  
I am on a ship to escape. To escape Irk. To escape the tyranny of the Tallest and the Irken Empire. We all are. My mother and I and Bob (aka, Table-Headed Service Drone Bob) are the only Irkens. No. Bob and her are the only Irkens. I am something else, no one knows what I am. I have long hair that is red like the color of mother's eyes. My eyes are blue, but only part way; the rest of them are white, then a bit of black in the very middle. I am peachy- white, and my body is shaped differently.  
  
The others here are beings that were slaves to the Irkens. My mother started a plan to escape secretly. She rescued all the slaves in our section of Irk! However, we all know one thing: we are not out of the fire yet. The other Irkens can still capture us. We are all very, very frightened. But we have eachother. We have medical experts, strong ones that can fight well, and plenty of provisions. We should be safe, but we don't know. So for now we are afraid.  
  
"Mother, how much longer until we reach earth?" I ask her.  
  
"Hmm, lets see... We've been on the ship for about 3 and a half months, so it should only be about 2 and a half more." She says, smiling. "As long as there are no complications..." She mutters worriedly. Then it is like everyone hears her, and they all go silent. They all exchange nervous glances, then look at her. She smiles weakly. "Well, so far so good... And everything is in order... So we should be fine." She says, trying to be reassuring. Everyone else just nods weakly, trying to be reassured and confident, or at least look it. My mother doesn't even seem confident. Somehing must be worrying her.  
  
"Mom... What's worrying you?" I ask. It makes me worried when she is worried; but I would like to know what we are worried /about/.  
  
"Well..." She sighs deeply, then tries to look calm. "Nothing. Everything is fine. Why don't you sleep now?" She is trying to change the subject.  
  
I know everything is not okay. I can sense it; she is worried. But I haven't slept in a while, and I don't want to worry her more. So I squeeze through the crowd and go to my small cot. I pull back the thin, plain white sheets and lay down, placing my head down on the flattened pillow. When I do this, I realize how I tired I am. So I close my eyes and bring my little toy close to me. It is of a little creature. I don't know what, but it's cute. It's pink, and it's fat. It has big, round eyes. It is soft, and squeaks when I squeeze it. Soon I am asleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
I am awakened by screaming and yelling, and my mother's voice.   
  
"Zera! ZERAAAAA!!! Wake UP!!" She sounds very scared. I jump out of bed quickly, my toy flying across the room with the force of it. I want to go to, but my mom needs me. Now. So I run to her.   
  
She is at an escape pod, holding the door open for me. Bob is already in there. I scramble in as fast as I can, and mom jumps inside, slams the door, and goes to the controls in one fluid motion. Her eyes are wide and her breathing is hard. Her antennae are twitching. It is the same with Bob. He is silent, as usual. But I can tell he is terrified. So am I. I look through the back window of the escape pod. I am looking at the ship we were on. There is a ship behind it. It shoots something. Then there is lots of light and heat. It is blinding me. It is burning me. It is also very, very loud. I am covering my ears and screaming. So are mom and Bob. But we cannot hear eachothers screams. We cannot see eachother; our eyes are shut tightly. Then, suddenly... Silence. There is nothing. The ship is gone....  
  
....So are the other escape pods. We are the only ones left. The ONLY ones. THE ONLY ONES! Three... Out of hundreds. Hundreds of lives lost. In only a few minutes. I turn to mom. Although she is looking straight ahead, although she did not see, she knows. We all do. We are silent, thinking of all the lives lost just now. About the reamins of the ship and the pods. About how there would be no trace of them; they had been vaporized. Zapped out of this world. They are gone. All of them.   
  
"We have failed" Mom says quietly, still looking straight ahead, manuevering around the pods' remains. "We have failed!" She concludes, louder this time. "WE HAVE FAILED!!" She is screaming now. As tears the color of their eyes begin to fall from them, I cry as well. The hot tears run down my cheeks, clinging for life for a moment, then slip off and spash to the cold, hard ground. I cannot believe it; we had been doing so well... Our plan was so good. And all of it, lost, gone, blurring in my mind like my tears blurring my eyesight. Is there any hope? We have no medicine. it is easy to get diseases in space. We don't have much food. We are alone.  
  
Just two Irkens and a mysterious girl, fighting for their lives to reach sanctuary. And I fear... I fear that the Irken ship is after us now. Suddenly, panic awoke in me.  
  
"MOTHER! THE ENEMY SHIP! GO FASTER, BEFORE IT GETS US!" I scream, trying to make her hear over her own sceams. I think she hears, because she then stops screaming. She looks at me through a glaze of scarlet tears in her eyes, with tears like blood running down her cheeks. She looks lost. She looks like all hope is lost. I've never seen her this way. She was always happy. Always confident. But now, now she looks different. She does not look like my mother, and it frightens me.   
  
She turns and presses some buttons. 'Sending Transmission' is now a screen next to her, along with a bar that is filling up.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
"Transmission!" Blared Zim's computer.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mysterious: Whaddaya think? I really must know, because your reviews are the fire that ignite my quickness in uploading! \m/^.^\m/ 


	2. Heart Break

*Blushes* Umm, I'm sooo sorry that this took so long! But it is a rather hard story to write. I've never written in first-person, present- tense before. Its kind of hard. But that don't mean that its fun! Plus, I am writing two other fics as well! I try to divide my time evenly, but things happen.  
  
Yes, I have read 'Stranger in A Strange Land'. Its a wonderful, wonderful book, and it inspired me to write this. Along with the book 'The Music Of Dolphins'. That too is wonderful. That's where I got the whole first-person, present-tense thing from. Now I'm beginning to regret it. Ah well, I like experimenting.  
  
Okay. I have some explaining to do. 'The Music Of Dolphins' was a simple, childish book. Therefore, some parts of this will be rather simple. However, 'Stranger in A Strange Land' was complicated and adult. So, some parts in this fic will be complicated and adult. You readers might be in for a ride.  
  
I know I am.  
  
~Beth  
  
* * * *  
  
Soon the bar is filled up, and a male Irken's face is on a screen. He has red eyes, but they are a different shade than mother's. He looks very relieved.  
  
"Izarith! You're alive! Thank the gods! When my computer detected that explosion, I was sure you all would be goners-" Then he sees her expression. "Why...aren't you happy? /You just narrowly escaped death! You're a hero!/ What's wrong?" He says, looking very concerned.  
  
My mother's face is ashen. She can barely even keep eye contact with the Irken she is talking to. Sobs are rising in her throat as she tries to talk. "Zim. Oh, Zim. Everyone else is with the gods you just thanked. Everyone else is being greeted by them now. /All of them./ They didn't make it." She looks away, her ruby eyes now blood-red with tears. A sob is rising in her throat as she rocks herself unconsciously. "I'm a failure. I have failed. I was their one hope for survival, for sanctuary. And I failed them. I don't deserve being called a hero. I couldn't save them."  
  
"Its not /your/ fault that the empire killed them. You couldn't have known until you were too late anyways. Don't blame yourself." He says consolingly. But mother is no better.  
  
"/But I knew! I sensed that something would happen, but I did nothing!/" She shrieks, tears like liquid rubies falling from her eyes. She buries her face in her hands, sobs shaking her suddenly frail-looking body. Everyone is silent, waiting for her to calm down. She just keeps on sobbing, keeps on wailing like her hearts are being torn up. I cannot stand to look at her like this. She does not look like my mother.  
  
Instead I look over at Bob, who is right across from me. He is shaking and whimpering, but I don't mind; he is always like this. He is just pushing against the corner of the pod like he just wants to go through it and die in space. When mother's wailing continues, he curls up into a tight, shivering, whimpering ball, soon sobbing uncontrollably himself. I look helplessy around. My eyes lock onto Zim's face in the screen.  
  
I stand up and go to the monitor. He just stares at me with wide- eyes, as if he were frightened by me. This makes me feel rather self- conscious, the way he was looking at me so intensely. It is so silent now; I cannot stand it.  
  
"Hello. I'm Zera." I say, trying to be friendly.  
  
"How? What? /Huh?/ Wait... You're a /human./"  
  
I am confused now. "A human?"  
  
"Yes... They are one of the species on Earth. It appears that you are going home then." He states, still looking as shocked as ever.  
  
"But...Irk is my home." I reply. He is shaking his head now.  
  
I am so very confused by all of this. Irk is my home. A home is where you have grown up. It is where you have had all of your most significant experiences. It is where you were raised, where you learned and grew and became who you are. It is where you feel the most comfortable.  
  
And here I am, leaving my home. It is like leaving a piece of me. I feel lighter, emptier, and smaller now. I have left my home. The only place I have ever known. I have lost everything that has ever touched me. That has ever changed me. I feel different; I don't feel like me. Leaving my home is like losing myself. I will never forget my home.  
  
And then here is this male I don't even know, and he is telling me that I am going home. But I am not going home. I am leaving home, and going somewhere else. I find it so strange. They say home is a sanctuary. And I am leaving home; in search of sanctuary. Here we are, leaving a beautiful place that is our home...trying to get away.  
  
After a while, I realize something: Mother is no longer crying. She is just staring at me, looking guilty. Her eyes meet mine. We are not talking. Our eyes seem to speak to each other.  
  
She is saying to me: 'Zera. Zera, I'm so sorry. For everything. I've never told you, never told you we were going to the place you came from.' She looks so sorry right now, I cannot help but accept her apology.  
  
'It is okay. At least now I will see more of my own kind. I can actually say nothing but thank you. Maybe I will be able to find out who I am.'  
  
She smiles weakly at me. There is gratitude in her eyes, and even a pinch of skepticism. I smile sadly at her. There is nothing else I can do.  
  
"Well..." She begins, biting her lip. "We'll be there in about three months now, considering how slowly this pod travels. Maybe less - I don't know."  
  
Zim suddenly coughs loudly, and we all remember he is there suddenly. We look over at him, and his features are alight with impatience. He coughs again, and mother sighs exasperatedly, rolling her eyes playfully.  
  
"Does the great and oh so almighty Zim want our attention now?" She mocks, looking happy and mischievous. He glares happily and sighs also.  
  
"Yes, I do, oh all mighty hero." He mocks back at her. She feigns being offended, and pretends to wipe away a tear. I laugh at this. It seems that mother is finally happy, and that makes me happy. I do, however, find it strange that she is so happy around this arrogant male... This surprises me. I haven't seen her like this lately. Oh well. It still warms my heart to know that maybe she won't be so lonely anymore... To know that maybe, on earth, her hearts will finally have a home.  
  
I know that mother hasn't lead and easy life. She is cold sometimes; definitely not the most friendly Irken you'll meet. She has hearts of stone, or so she says. I would too, if my life was anything like hers...  
  
When she was 12, nearly still a child in the eyes of the empire, almost a smeet on the Irken biological calendar, she was taken in as a mate by a terrible general. I do not want to remember what she told me what happened there; it is too terrible. All I know is that she has many children, but they were taken away to be trained, ripped from her arms right after they were born. She did not care that they were the children of a monster; she had grown attached to them before they were even born.  
  
When she was 17 or so, still very young, she was able to run away from her mate. But only to be caught again. She was as beautiful as a goddess, and her mate did not want to lose her that easily. Upon being captured, he punished her by removing her right antenna. He would have blinded her as well, but her eyes 'are just too pretty'. Right after brutally ripping out her antenna, he... Tore her apart from the inside. He ravaged her terribly, and she had a miscarriage. She hadn't even known she was pregnant.  
  
He had continued to ravage her daily, always ripping her apart, never healing her, but making her give birth anyways. When she wasn't 'warming his bed, she was chained to the wall by her wrists, which were now in terrible condition.  
  
One day, when she was about 25, she had recently given birth only to have her smeet torn from her savagely again. That had been her seventy- eighth child. That had been the last straw.  
  
That night, while he mounted her again, she had placed her arms around his back lovingly, and began to rub his neck gently... Then snapped his neck, killing him instantly. She had run out into the warm desert air, and stolen his Voot Cruiser, headed for the tranquility of deep space.  
  
And there, she had found the remains of a ship, with me inside, safe inside a small container. In her grief of losing another child, she had decided to care for me. And so she did.  
  
Shaking the story of how I was found, I look to see mother bantering pointlessly with Zim.  
  
"...Well, we /would/ be on earth right now, if only it weren't so darn far away! Don't give me that look you! You know that the Tallest wanted you to go as far away as possible, and they sure did a good job of it! Its a six-month trip! You have /no right/ to be so impatient with us! It isn't our fault you idiot!" She says, but she is smiling the whole way.  
  
"I know that! I'm not /that/ stupid! Sheesh. you are so- Aaaah! No Gir! No! Don't touch that! I'm warning you, you little-"  
  
"WHEEHEHEEEHEEHEHEEEE!" A giggling and shrieking SIR unit is in on the screen now. But there is something wrong with him: he has aqua eyes, not red ones. I wonder what is wrong with him. "HIYA!! I BE GIR!" He yells. To the Gods, he certainly is hyperactive. And he certainly has intelligence-issues. Zim pushes him away, and I hear much protesting from Gir. "Hey! Lemme at 'em! Lemme at 'em...or...I'll stick a rat down your pants! One I already ate!" I could see Zim's face turn a tad greener at this, and he looks ill. Mother just cackles evilly at him.  
  
"You told me-" cackle, "that you had a retarded-" more cackling and laughing, "SIR unit, but this is just-" more cackling, "sad!" she howls with laughter, tears running down her cheeks. She looks about ready to explode. Her face is becoming more and more flushed as she continues to laugh at Zim's misfortune. He blushes furiously and hides his face. Mother laughs more at this. I, honestly, don't know how she can find this funny. He obviously doesn't. But I can hear shrill giggling from off screen. That must have been Gir.  
  
I hear a sniffle, and I look over to the corner of the ship, where Bob is curled up miserably. I crawl over to him. I tap him on the shoulder and her turns towards me. The look on his face is heart- wrenching. I almost cry. It looks as if his heart was just broken into a million glittering pieces. And I know, somewhere inside of me, that that's just what happened to him. Without a word, I hug him close, understanding completely. He buries his face in my shoulder. He begins to cry, and I do too.  
  
He has known my mother for a long, long time. They had been very good friends before my mother was taken away. But somehow they were able to communicate, even with my mother under constant watch. It was him that had kept her going. It was him that had comforted in her in her times of utter grief. It was him that had told her how to finally kill her awful mate. He had saved her life from utter destruction. He had been there to call her back to life whenever she would see the shining faces of the Gods. He had been her light in the dark. And he did it because he loved her. He had loved her since he had first met her as a smeet at the training academy. He had vowed to protect her at all costs, to put himself in danger to save her. And he had. But she didn't love him. And to be with her, near her, was beautiful. But it was torture as well. Especially when she was so happy, like now. It made her so much more beautiful. And he wanted her. But he knew she did not want him.  
  
And now we both have this sneaking suspicion that she does want Zim though... And that maybe Zim wants her too... 


End file.
